Healing Your Mother-Daughter Relationship

Call her what you will – mom, mother, mommy dearest – we all have a mother. She can be different things to different people. She can range from being the greatest joy and blessing in our lives perhaps, to the greatest challenge we may face, in life. (Remember of course, this is most likely also how our mothers see us, too!) I want to talk a little bit about the incredible relationship you have with your mom.

If you are anything or even a little like me, then you have a very close relationship with your mother and you completely enjoy one another. Now that I am an adult, my relationship with my mom is better than ever.

Of course, being a teenager was a difficult time, because I did not get along with anyone at that stage and anything that my mother had to say, would frustrate me faster and further along, deeper than anyone else.

Moms do such a good job at showing love and affection to us, that we start to take them for granted, because we know they will always love us. This, of course, is NOT the best way to behave - especially to someone whom you love! Unfortunately, though, it happens quite a bit.

The fact is, that sometimes we give the worst treatment to the ones we love and that love us the

most – those closests to us.

Conversely, you may have found that you were really perhaps NEVER able to bond with your mother and/or get really close to her. I have several friends that have experienced this kind of situation and it truly is the most difficult, because it follows you throughout your adult-life! You just sink when you acknowledge and know that you do not have the “closeness” that you truly desire and so much long for.

Many times, this lack of intimacy with your mother, can lead to problems with eating disorders, substance, or drugs and alcohol abuse. Women start to seek out other things, as replacements, just so they can “feel“ better. With eating disorders, most are then merely looking for love and attention,for the majority of the time. 

In most cases, it very well may have less, little or nothing at all to do with the actual food itself.

When I talk about the importance of getting along with women in our lives, I place heavy emphasis on our mothers, because the relationship with our mothers is truly important to a woman’s life and well-being.

I want to offer some encouragement to you, if you are reading this and feel that maybe you do not have the best relationship – the one that you desire with your mother.

The fact is that there are so many reasons why parents treat us a certain way while we are young and growing up. However, the most important thing for you to know is, that even if you were not shown the kind of love and affection that you wanted, I promise that you were and are still very much loved today!

If you may feel deprived of a loving relationship from your mother, this most likely has to do with the way she was shown love and affection by her mother and even her father.

True ambition is about learning the keys and secrets that will help you develop into everything YOU have dreamed of.

Teenage years can be extremely volatile and thus also very difficult on the parents! REMEMBER: they only want the very best for you (even if/when it does not feel like it!).

Sometimes it takes years for you to understand that. Maybe they went about it all wrong, but they had good intentions. You are an adult now, so it may very well be the time to decide and opt to move on, putting the blame-game and finger-pointing to rest.

Once you turn 18 years old, you are responsible for who you become and what you accomplish.

Let us forgive and learn to develop the ultimate female relationship, the one with our mothers, to its fullest potential and capacity. Let go of any resentment, anger or hostile emotions.

As you begin to grow as a mature, self-confident woman, you need to deal with things that are not always pleasant –even things from your past.

So, let us get started then, by reaching out in love and trying to find common ground here! (After all, she is the only mother you have).

Moms, a lot of times, DO NOT get credit where credit is due, so take this opportunity to tell her

what she means to you. 

Thanks to Tara Brook for this inspiring article. If you'd like to know more about Tara and get a Free chapter of her new book Beautiful Ambition: My Secrets to Love, Happiness and Success, check out her website at http://www.beautifulambition.com/

Goal Setting - Are You Working Someone Else's Plan For Your Life?

The truth is that we have choices in every single moment of our lives. For those who are destitute however, the choices in life are less, fewer and far between (if at all!). But, as for the rest of us…let us set the records straight for once! WE often think we don't have freedom when we simply haven't claimed our power to choose differently!

So how can you be open to choosing ‘differently’ and BETTER? For once, be clear about what it is that you DO want. Have a sense of purpose. With a target to aim for, you'll know what will serve you best.

This One Amazingly Simple Step, that really successful people take, is to plan their lives in detail on paper (to start)… AND THEN, they actually work their plan. And when I say detail - I mean EVERY detail. They wrote down a plan for every aspect of their lives and then they went after it. Step, by step, by step!!

Now let us get down to business! Here is a tough question for you. Are you working someone else's plan for your life? If you are NOT getting what you want from life, it is probably because you have allowed someone else to design your life plan. 

This could be your parents, your spouse, your boss, the government, even your friends, that might oblige and be happy to plan and map your life FOR you. BUT, this is not the fast track to success - if anything, it is the slow boat to mediocrity. Success is a do-it-to-yourself proposition, that comes from designing the life you want and deserve and then taking significant action to achieve it.

Stop and ask yourself in-depth get-real type questions, like: "Why am I doing this? What do I want to achieve?"

Write down your answers. Use your journal. Get in the habit of carrying and using your journal as a success tool. Be more conscious of how you are spending your precious time, because this is your life passing by. This will help you start to recognize where you’re doing well, and when you are headed down the wrong path altogether. I spend a good amount of my time writing out what I wanted, because it helps me stay focused on the goal everyday. I look at it and I know how I am going to spend my time that day.

I want to encourage you to step out with confidence and really give it your all. DO NOT let ANYBODY stand in your way! A ‘victim’ mentality will typically keep great people from coming into your life. Only YOU can decide to stop being a victim and start living today!

Be open to possibilities for yourself. Select one area of your life where you are unsatisfied, and choose something new, something more for yourself. Do different things and do things differently. Risk more.

The following is a guideline that can help you achieve your goals: State your goal as a positive statement (“do”, instead of “don’t”) example : “ I will earn $150,000 a year” instead of “I won’t make less money than I deserve.”

Be precise about your goal (state dates, and a measurable amount of achievement so that you can know when you have achieved your goal).

Set priorities (so that when you have several goals, you won’t feel overwhelmed, you’ll know which ones are the most important).

Write your goals down (this solidifies them and makes them feel more important).

Keep your operational goals small (having many smaller goals is better than one large goal, since it’s easier to see your progress and stay motivated).

Instead of setting an outcome, set a performance goal (this way, there is a control factor to your achievement. Nothing is more dispiriting than failing due to reasons beyond your control, such as bad business environments, or just plain bad luck).

Be realistic about your goals (set goals that you can achieve, and don’t be influenced by others, who try to set goals beyond your abilities. You can always set another goal if you discover that your first goal was not reaching high enough).

Don’t set your goals too low (otherwise, you will slow down your progress, become lazy, and simply won’t achieve your maximum potential).

When you do achieve one of your goals, make certain that you have taken the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having accomplished your desire, by allowing yourself a well deserved break or reward. (It can be as small as an afternoon off to go see that movie you have wanted to see).

It is also important to make certain to absorb the implications of the achievement of your goal, and have a look back at the progress you have made. You should also look at the progress that you have made towards other goals. If the goal was especially noteworthy, make sure that you reward yourself appropriately.

Thanks to Tara Brook for this inspiring article. If you'd like to know more about Tara and get a Free chapter of her new book Beautiful Ambition: My Secrets to Love, Happiness and Success, check out website at http://www.beautifulambition.com/